I Wasted 10 Years on Advice Built for Neurotypical, Able-Bodied People

For perhaps the thousandth time, someone has asked you, "Have you tried a to-do list?" "A planner?" "A timer?" Immediately you're filled with rage and frustration, but once that subsides, hopelessness sets in. You need help but can't find any, so giving up feels like the only option.

Watch the video below, or read on for the full transcript.

That was me for almost a decade. I call it my personal groundhog day. But giving up wasn't my only option.

Hi, I'm Cas Winter. I'm neurodivergent and have been chronically ill for over 25 years. I figured out how to be productive with executive dysfunction and limited, unpredictable energy the hard way so you don't have to. Subscribe if you're done listening to neurotypical, able-bodied advice.

Because that advice is always missing a big piece of the puzzle.

When someone suggests a to-do list, a planner, or a timer, they're suggesting a tool, but they're not teaching you how to use that tool.

Let's think about this in the terms of a literal tool, like a hammer.

You have a small painting you want to hang up, so someone hands you a hammer and nail and then leaves.

But you've never used a hammer and nail and no one has taught you how.

If right now you're thinking something along the lines of, "It's pretty intuitive," you're able to understand how neurotypical, able-bodied people view productivity tools.

But here's the thing, if you're a kid who has literally never seen a hammer and nail before, it's not necessarily that intuitive.

If something isn't intuitive, you need and deserve to be taught how to do it to the level of granularity you need.

Furthermore, if you have a disability, you may need either an additional tool or an entirely different tool altogether to actually accomplish your task.

For example, let's say you only have one hand. You would either need an additional tool to hold the nail in place for you before you start hammering, or a separate tool altogether like heavy duty command strips.

Just because someone else's tool is intuitive for them doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. And just because someone else's tool doesn't work for you doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

I created my program, The Action Navigator, because I don't want anyone to have to figure out how to use "intuitive tools" the long and hard way like I did. Because honestly? I feel like I wasted ten years of my life.

During my decade-long groundhog day I didn't know I was neurodivergent, and I didn't know I was disabled, which certainly wasn't helping matters. But I did have a few of what I now call "usable hours" each day to spend on the things that mattered to me.

But I didn't. I spent most of that time either watching TV, beating myself up with my thoughts, or reading self-help books and "trying" countless different things to fix what was broken in me.

The idea being that if I fixed myself, I would not only finally get things done, but I would feel better. Happy even.

It was only when I stopped listening to all the advice and started creating a step-by-step system by and for myself that I started to experience change in how I spent my time and energy and, more importantly, change in my relationship with myself.

What I now call the Navigator's Compass started out as what I called "Butt in Chair Time," and it was the literal, granular, step by step process by which I was able to write for one hour every weekday for months.

Over the course of a year I was able to write not only the first draft of a novel, but multiple revisions.

I hadn't written in almost ten years, and here I was WRITING. I know that when I'm old and gray, I will look back on that year as one of the major turning points in my life.

I wasn't broken, I simply had and still have more support needs, and I deserve that support.

The standard advice for productivity, time management, can usually be boiled down to these steps:

1. Define Outcome & Steps

2. Create Time & Space

3. Spend Time & Energy

- Can't decide what to put on your to-do list? You're stuck on step one.

- Can't time block to save your life? You're stuck on step two.

- You started a timer, but can't get yourself to actually DO what you say you're going to do? You're stuck on step three.

Those who are able to intuitively extrapolate from those three steps can do so because they have executive function. They either don't get stuck in the first place or, if they do, are able to get themselves unstuck with little to no help. For them, trying a to-do list, planner, or timer really is enough.

If you haven't watched my deep-dive video on executive function, here's a quick list of all the elements of executive function:

1. Time Management

2. Behavioral Initiation

3. Prioritization and Planning

4. Organization

5. Response Inhibition

6. Working Memory

7. Sustained Attention

8. Metacognition (which is the ability to appraise and coach yourself forward)

9. Goal Directed Persistence

10. Flexibility

11. Emotional Self Control

So if you have executive dysfunction or brain fog (which can create executive dysfunction), you likely experience impairment in every single one of those cognitive processes.

Which means that those three steps, Define Outcome & Steps, Create Time & Space, and Spend Time & Energy, aren't just the tip of the iceberg, they feel like booby traps.

Because you never know if it's the right tool until it's too late, and even if it is the right tool, you haven't been adequately taught how to use it.

What made Butt in Chair Time different for me was that it left no stone unturned. I broke those three big steps down into smaller and smaller steps until I had a process that was:

- Actually helpful,

- Doable, and

- Repeatable

I had made myself a Thinking Aid.

Mobility aids like wheelchairs help people physically move around, aka they help us with our mobility.

Thinking aids help people with executive dysfunction do just that: think. They guide us step-by-step through a series of granular instructions and questions to help us achieve doable, repeatable results.

Executive function does this invisibly for neurotypical people. In fact it's so invisible that even they can't see it. It's just automatic.

Which is why, when you have executive dysfunction, it's invisible to them and they give you unhelpful and incomplete advice.

It all comes down to learning HOW to do things:

- HOW to use different tools (so we can use them properly and discern which ones are "right" for us)

- HOW to manually create executive function when we have executive dysfunction

And in order to learn these things, we need them broken down into small enough steps so that we can truly understand.

You're not broken. You simply have more support needs and you deserve that support.

If that sounds like exactly what you've been looking for, I built The Action Navigator for you. Go to this link to learn more and to book a free Clarity Call with Shae, my Clarity Navigator. Their job isn't to sell, their job is to help you figure out if The Action Navigator is right for you.

The support you need and deserve IS out there. Don't give up.

By the way, what's the one piece of advice you're the most tired of hearing? Tell me in the comments.

I'll be back in two weeks with another video so don't forget to subscribe. See you then. Bye.